


what is this between us?

by iwaxoi_shzrg



Category: Given (Anime), Given (Manga)
Genre: Angst, Crushing, Feelings, M/M, Open Ending, Unrequited Love, i just really love hurting you, it's kinda painful haha, painter yuki, uenoyuki besties
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-15 08:34:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28810443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iwaxoi_shzrg/pseuds/iwaxoi_shzrg
Summary: "Shizu…" Yuki opened his mouth slowly and words started to come naturally...maybe a little bit too naturally, "What's this between us?"
Relationships: Yagi Shizusumi & Yoshida Yuuki, Yagi Shizusumi/Yoshida Yuuki
Comments: 4
Kudos: 7





	what is this between us?

**Author's Note:**

> hello shizuyuki nation im once again here to provide content-  
> i hope you enjoy i wrote this as soon as i woke up in an hour so it might be a little bit rushed.  
> big thank you to @bestboyuecchi on twitter for beta reading this :]  
> love u maddie mwah <3

Yuki relaxed as light coming from his window carelessly brushed against his cheek. It was warm, almost as if it was a blanket enveloping his body. His eyes glistened as a paintbrush he gently held in his right hand made its way from one side of a canvas to the other. 

He hummed a song he heard Mafuyu sing the other day. His voice was sweet and gentle, filling his art studio with warmth.  
Birds joined him in a choir not too long after and really...it looked like a sight from a fairy tale. Or at least that's what Shizusumi Yagi thought when he stepped foot into Yuki's art studio. 

It was cozy and domestic, comfortable for living. However Shizusumi didn't come so he could move in, he came so he could get the portrait he ordered for Hiiragi's birthday which also happened to be their six month anniversary.

He greeted the blonde boy without putting much feeling in his words. Still, Yuki managed to find a reason to grin as wide as usual. Words started slipping out tumbling out one after the other as if they were old friends who hadn’t seen each other in months- and they kind of were. They were childhood friends, but they just met up a few days ago to hang out. Back then it was also like this. Yuki talked with no visible sign of planning to shut up while Shizusumi stared at him silently, nodding a few times.

Seeing that Yuki was almost done with a painting, Shizusumi awkwardly sat down on the sofa. Despite not wanting to be here, despite wanting to get away as possible, he stayed. He stayed because his order was still not finished. 

Yuki's studio was truly unique. Walls painted in yellow and white were covered in children's handprints. Sometimes, Yuki would babysit his neighbour's children and let them play around, teaching them new artistic stuff. It brings him joy and comfort to see future generations be so excited about something that had such a big impact on his life. It simply means the world to him.

Shizusumi sighed and in the corner of his eye tried to find something in the studio that would cure his boredom.  
His eyes landed on a plain white canvas. 

In a studio where everything, even walls and tables were splashed in paint and colors, the white canvas looked empty. It looked like surrending white flag. It was empty...hopeless until one day in the future Yuki picks it up decides to fill it with bright colors giving it some kind of meaning. Until then it will remain blank.

Yuki got up soon after and Shizu assumed that meant he was done. He held the birthday gift in his hands tightly as if he was holding a newborn child. To Yuki, his art was like his descendants. He gave each one of his pieces a little part of himself. Yuki understood the beauty of art so well because whenever he held a paintbrush in his hands he would simply feel at ease. At that moment, he was willing to open up his soul and let all emotions he'd usually keep inside, out. Finally. 

A big, dorky smile found its place on his face and as the excitement washed over him he turned to Shizusumi, showing his friend the painting he worked so hard on.

Shizusimi nodded and soon enough his mind forgot about the white canvas, laying on the floor. He slowly reached out and Yuki handed him the painting. Their fingers brushed against each other for a second and Shizusumi felt a warm feeling take over him, out of nowhere.

"How do you like it?" Yuki grinned, shoving his hands in the pockets of his apron. 

"It's really beautiful." Shizusumi genuinely admired it for a second before his head lowered and he reached into the pockets of his jeans, pulling out some money.  
"Here. Thank you."

Yuki took the money carefully, and without double checking whether the amount was correct or not, he put it aside.

"Wish Hiiragi a happy birthday from me." 

"Are you not coming?" The question left Shizusumi's mouth in an unsurprised tone.

Yuki rubbed his neck awkwardly, "I know it's your half year anniversary and all. I don't wanna ruin it." He answered with a shrug.

"Huh? But that's not important at all? Hiiragi wants you to come for cake - even Mafuyu will be there and-"

"Uenoyama?" Yuki bit on his lip, "Will he be there to?"

Shizusumi remained silent for a while, "Oh... that's why you don't wanna come. Am I right?"

"Don't get me wrong …" Yuki's expression dulled, "I really like him. He's a good guy...but I would be fifth wheeling and that doesn't sound like fun."

At that moment, Maybe for the first time in his life, Shizusumi understood Yuki. He understood those feelings of isolation, because he spent his entire childhood feeling that way. When Mafuyu and Yuki started dating in middle school Hiiragi would always stare so lovingly at both of them. It made Shizusumi's heart ache in agony. But then- two years after, they broke up due to a fight and Hiiragi stopped staring. On the contrary, his stares changed from loving little glances to concerned looks filled with fear. Fear of his friend group falling apart.

But in the end Mafuyu and Yuki agreed to stay friends. Two of them went through so much together it would be stupid if all of the time they spent together, couple or not, got stepped on and ended up forgotten. So when Mafuyu introduced his friends to his new boyfriend they were beyond proud. Proud of the fact he found love again.

Soon after Yuki and Uenoyama became friends. To everyone's surprise. they got along better than expected. Uenoyama truly understood Yuki's feelings and always knew what to say when the blonde would feel down. It was extremely comforting, and Yuki was glad to have met someone as kind as Uenoyama Ritsuka. 

A part of Yuki was jealous of how fast Mafuyu found a new lover- not that it was a bad thing. He was happy if Mafuyu was happy. True, he was over him now, but there were times where he'd curse at himself and cry himself to sleep because finding love was hard and not something he was particularly good at.

That was when he decided to start painting and when he did he felt reborn. He was finally able to express all of his feelings and emotions in the form of art. That's when art became his coping mechanism. It made him feel at peace and helped him find happiness again. 

It was all sweet and nice until he fell in love again.  
Under and other circumstances it would be okay to fall in love again. It was completely natural. But Yuki fell in love with someone who couldn't love him back...

"Yeah. I see." Shizusumi sighed, "But it's Hiiragi's birthday after all, and you’ve never missed any of our birthdays. Even Uenoyama- you always came. So what's so different about this time?" 

Yuki stared at him with tired eyes, "I don't feel really well…" He didn’t feel well looking at Shizu so happy. His bones felt tired. He felt scorched looking at radiant people in love. He was exhausted from hiding his feelings...it hurt. His heart longed for Shizusumi's love...but Shizu's love already belonged to another.

Yuki was in love with someone who already found his other half. 

"Look I’m not forcing you…" Shizu muttered under his breath. "I'm just confused."

"Shizu…" Yuki opened his mouth slowly and words started to fall out naturally...maybe a little bit too naturally, "What's this between us?"

"Hm? What do you mean?" Shizusumi raised his brow.

Yuki felt his chest tighten. Suddenly it was hard to breathe. He wanted to say something but the fear overtook his body. He didn't know what he was supposed to say. 

Because Yuki was in love with Shizusumi Yagi.

It was a cold fall night when he first realized his feelings. Just A little bit before him and Hiiragi started going out. There was not a particular moment he could place that caused this sudden realization. It just came to him naturally. That feeling of being in love. He hadn’t experienced it in so long that it made his heart flutter vigorously. However, unlike his first love...this could never work. Obviously his relationship with Mafuyu didn't work either- but they at least tried until they saw it wasn't working for them. If he confessed to Shizusumi...he would just make things awkward around him and his friends. The fear of losing them was too strong. What if he ruined almost twenty years of friendship only because he was unable to hide his feelings and eventually get over them?

But Shizusumi's answer kept on eating him from the inside and the silence surrounding them made the air feel heavy against his chest.

"I- I don't know." Yuki laughed as he ran his dirty painted-smeared hand through his hair. "I guess going to that party would just break my heart."

"Yuki-?"

And Yuki couldn't hold it in any longer. He opened his mouth and took the risk, letting words slip down his lips...

"You see...I might have feelings for you."

**Author's Note:**

> hey hey hey i hope you enjoyed the fic!! if you wanna you can follow me on my writing account on twitter i post wips and snek peaks. same @ as here. also post art on tiktok and insta @arxie.arts and on my art twitter @Artsarxie  
> yeah thank youuu ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ


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